The Man of Steel

Before I get into the nitty gritty of this review, I just want to make clear: Go see this film. This is absolutely a film that needs to be seen by as many people as possible. I want to clarify this point because I'm going to have more than a few negative things to say about it, but I still think it is an excellent film that you should absolutely go see if only for the spectacle. Beyond that, I think it is perhaps the best Superman movie ever, though Christopher Reeve is still the best Superman ever. Odd to put a summary up front, but I want to make sure if you read nothing else, you know this movie has my full recommendation. Got that? Okay, moving on.

The Man of Steel is something of a misnamed movie. Taking a cue from The Dark Knight, it is named after one of Superman's heroic epithets, yet this oddly misses the mark. A better title would be The Last Son of Krypton, but I assume that was focus grouped out. This movie is almost entirely about what it means for Superman to be the last survivor of another planet with godlike powers, living as a human being on Earth. 

The opening act takes place on a Krypton in the middle of a civil war shortly before its destruction. General Zod (Michael Shannon) and his cronies attempt a coup while Jor-El (Russel Crowe) attempts to send his infant son to another world. Much is made of the fact that he is the first natural birth on Krypton in centuries, thus the first person without a preprogrammed destiny. However, this does not really amount to much. Again, much like Nolan's other movies, many interesting issues are raised, you're clearly supposed to be thinking about the ideas present, but what exactly the movie is trying to say about all of it is as convoluted and unclear as Batman and Bane arguing about Hawkman continuity.

Like Nolan's other superhero franchise, this one draws from several Superman storylines, most notably Superman: Earth 2 storyline. This movie portrays a very different version at the beginning than people have come to expect. Rather than being a heroic, stalwart figure from near birth, this version of Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) is directionless. He starts the movie as a drifter working a series of blue collar, paid in cash jobs so that he can remain anonymous. Yet the core of goodness is still there, as often he is forced to leave a job after performing an act as major as rescuing people from a burning oil rig, or as simple as driving off some jerks from a diner. This portrayal is quite different and requires a very open mind to accept. It’s not quite Nolan’s Batman franchise in terms of gritty reboot, but it’s a unique and sometimes uncomfortable take on the character.

Other changes to the familiar origin story are likely to annoy purists, and much has been made about Pa Kent's (Kevin Costner) insistence that Clark remain hidden, and not use his powers to help people like he feels he should. However, Pa Kent provides a far better example through actions than words. In a truly touching scene later on, he simultaneously proves how much he cares about his son and that you cannot always protect people from themselves, something that Superman has often struggled with. I won’t spoil what happens, but it’s a pretty moving scene. This starts Clark’s wandering years, which changes when he discovers the Fortress of Solitude (though it’s never called that).

After activating the Fortress of Solitude (here a derelict Kryptonian colony ship), he accidentally sends out a distress beacon that draw the attention of Zod and his surviving prisoners. He saves Lois Lane (Amy Adams) for the first time, and embarks on his career as Superman in response to the threat Zod poses to the world. Zod himself is one of the best things about the movie. I will tell you right now though, he does not say his famous phrase. After all, it'd speak of creative bankruptcy to revisit an iconic scene for no other reason than it is expected *coughintodarknesscough*. Instead, there is a truly unforgettable scene where Michael Shannon gets to show off his acting chops. You can see Zod's sanity crack, spiderweb into larger fractures, and then shatter into jagged shards of rage. It’s just a shame that the actor plays it with a weird accent or speech impediment that reminds me of Sylvester the cat.

The fight scenes in this movie are by far the best part. It is worth watching for that alone. Never before, not even in the Avengers, has conflict between superhumans seemed so epic and yet so visceral. I would not be surprised if the animators took lessons from Dragon Ball Z and other fighting anime for how to make it look like invulnerable people are actually hurting each other. The end of the big fight with Zod will be a sticking point for some, but it is really an improvement over the same in the comics.

Lois's character is something that I have seen little commentary on, but deserves a lot more scrutiny. Her portrayal here as a brilliant and courageous investigative journalist (with more self-preservation than a lemming) finally strips the character of the last remaining Silver Age misogyny and makes her a truly strong character. In fact, as Clark is pulled between John Kent's insistence he try to live as a normal person, and Jor-El's grandiose proclamations of Kal-El's godlike superiority and noblesse oblige, it is Lois Lane's simple heroism and ethics that provide a better example. She not only figures out he is Clark Kent long before he even comes to Metropolis, but when he does he starts working at the Daily Planet because of her. His search for human identity concluded, he decided that the best example of humanity he could find was Lois Lane. That is something truly unique that I hope bleeds over into other potrayals of the character in the future. It’s just a shame she shares almost zero chemistry with Henry Cavill.

Overall, it is a very good film. Close to perfect. But there are too many little nagging details. The lack of chemistry with the leads, the over-explanation of plot devices, a charismatic villain undermined by a speech impediment, Henry Cavill’s attempt at an American accent forcing him to act wooden…this movie has issues. Nonetheless, it’s probably the most exciting thing you will see this year, at least until Pacific Rim.

4/5 stars.

Superboy #1

Since I can’t continue reviewing Red Hood right now without trying to shove chopsticks up my nose and swirl them around until I can pull the brain out, I decided to look elsewhere. I’m a little put off from Bat-Books, so I decided to turn to the second comic line to have a major crossover event: Teen Titans. First up: Superboy! With a new origin divorced from the whole Death of Superman thing, which may or may not have still happened, I’m not sure.  So, let’s see here. Who is on this book? Hmm…Scott Lobdell. Why does that name sound famil-

Oh sweet Jesus no

I can’t escape from him, can I? I choose a book almost entirely at random, and Lobdell follows me. Well, I’m not going to be defeated, and I’m not going to let the name on the cover prejudice me against it. Let’s look at Superboy #1.

The story opens with a panel of Superboy floating in a green liquid as he narrates he has no idea why he is named that. We pull back on a lab where people are doing science on him.  Apparently he has a distributed consciousness and knows a lot of things he shouldn’t. Since this doesn’t register as brain activity, the scientists decide to dump the experiment.

I gotta say this is a lot of information to take in really fast. A distributed consciousness? Does Superman have that? Or is Superboy just special because he’s part human? Who knows. The original Superboy had powers that differed in strange ways, so let’s see how this turns out.

Anyway, a scientist who is called only “Red” because of her hair (that’s a little sexist, also what’s up with comics and redheads) is against killing him, and Superboy notices her compassion. When they try to kill the clone by introducing cyanide, things go awry and he reacts instinctually, killing most of the people in the lab except Red.

They came from Castle Splat?

We get a brief hint of Red’s identity (Dr. Cait-) and then Superboy is out of his bottle. He thinks like a cartoon Indian speaks for a little bit, then gets exhausted and Red holds him. Cut to one month later, and he’s in school with a very strange looking teacher giving him a ridiculous problem that he answers with ease. He then walks home with a a strange white-haired girl named Rose Wilson, who shares her unique philosophy on life:

Craaawling iiiin my skiiiin

So he walks with Deathstroke’s daughter and he gives his cover story as to why he has no memory but knows such crazy facts. She turns the conversation to morality, wondering if his amnesia might affect his moral reasoning. He says it doesn’t, as they walk by a burning building with a woman screaming inside. At this point, my mind broke. No one with Super in front of their name would walk by that! What in the HFIL is going on here?

We then cut to the farm with his adoptive parents, the Helpworths. They’re…the Kents. A modern, younger version of the Kents, but this is now cleaving ridiculously close to Superman’s origin story. It’s getting a little silly. He complains of boredom, and I just realized no one has said his name in this small town yet. Weird. Of course he’d be less bored if he, I dunno, rescued the woman from the burning building?!

Then he starts complaining about how the simulation is the source of boredom. Wait…what? Oh. He’s in the Matrix. The fact his weird distributed intellect means he can tell it is a simulation makes it hard for him to care, and the farm is constructed from the genetic memory of the donors.

I gotta say this is a good twist, though they could have kept up the charade longer. The simulation honestly had me going for a while, though in retrospect I can see the seams where things were just too weird to be real. It also explains why he was so apathetic about the burning woman: She wasn’t real and he knew it, so he would rather talk to Rose. However, they consider his failure to rescue the woman to be a failure of the experiment, since Superman would do so almost by reflex. They think somehow the alien-human hybrid lacks empathy.

Lampshades, aisle three

Rose Wilson is of course part of the simulation, though based on a real person (and Deathstroke’s Daughter but the comic never mentions this). Meanwhile a certain Dr. Umber is leaking information from this covert organization to Lois Lane, though he has not yet told her what the base is working on.  Wait, Dr. Umber, Rose, Red, Dr. White…huh. Apparently they’re going by Resevoir Dogs aliases. I take back what I said about Red being sexist earlier.

Cait-Red goes to meet with the leader of the organization who is looking for faster results. Why are these guys always looking for faster results? He is most definitely not pure evil as he wears a trenchcoat/robes with shoulderpads, blank white sunglasses, and is named Zaniel Templar. The final splash page reveals Zaniel’s plan: Use Superboy as a living weapon to take out the Teen Titans.

This comic…is actually halfway decent. I like the twists and turns in its relatively short run. I totally bought that Superboy had escaped and been adopted by a family much like the Kents. I totally bought that this world’s version of Rose Wilson would be a schoolgirl. Maybe that was wishful thinking.

I thought referring to the one female redhead as Red was pretty sexist until I realized that the whole base was under Clue names. I have a sneaking suspicion that the other half of Superboy’s DNA is hers, but that would be far too easy and change his origin. They keep dropping hints that it’s hers, but if you know the old Superboy’s origin you know they’re probably false. More important, her identity is a mystery. They wouldn’t go out of their way to hide it unless it was someone we’d recognize. I look forward to that reveal.

The artwork is…a little weird. Very stylized and rounded. I don’t DIS like it, but it doesn’t really add anything either.

Overall, I’d say this is a good first issue. It certainly left me intrigued and I want answers to the questions this raised. One question baffles me the most though, and I doubt it will be answered:

How the HFIL was this written by the same guy as Red Hood?

3/5 stars.

To my nonexistent fans.

I delayed posting the previous one for a looong time simply because I couldn't stand to look at it. From now on though, I'm going to make an effort to post a review a day. I can't continue with Red Hood even though we're getting closer to the Night of Owls, so I'm going to be reviewing something else tomorrow. Stay tuned, and I do believe in fairies. I mean readers. I do believe in readers of this blog.

Red Hood and the Outlaws #2-3

Well, now that I'm on a better medium than Facebook, I can add pictures to my comic! And the next load of comics starts with this image that really got my hopes up:

I like where this is going.

Sadly, this is just a flashback to the time when Jason first met the All-Caste and their leader Yod...er...Ducra. She's an ancient Himalayan woman with a tendency to use Yiddish slang in a way that is not offensive at all. We also find out how he came back to the dead after Joker beat him to death with a crowbar: As a zombie, that Talia dunked in a Lazarus Pit and then brought him to the All-Caste for training to tame his RAAAAGE. Seriously, Ducra thinks he has so much rage that he is a danger to the entire world if left unchecked. It seems more like he's a danger to himself and the reader's sanity, as he decides the best thing to do when meeting an ancient master is to patronizingly pat her on the head. What occurs is unfortunately offscreen, but the sound effects are satisfying.

So wait, why did he have to come back as a zombie first? These events were entirely off panel. Why couldn't Talia just raise him from the dead? Hey, comic, you said "TO BE EXPLAINED." So get on it.

Instead, we're treated to the Jason and Roy show as they banter in the language of dudebro while flying to Hong Kong. Jason's suave good looks get him a flight attendant's phone number. This was important to the story. Moving on.

They arrive in Hong Kong and Starfire is already there with a limo. Jason's helpful narration reminds us she is trying to keep a low profile, which she is accomplishing by renting a limo and apparently getting designer clothes which a half-page glamour pose is sure to highlight for us. In the limo more witless banter as Roy tries to get in Starfire's pants again and wonders why the Justice League isn't returning his calls. Seriously, both happen in this conversation. He is immune to irony.

At his penthouse in Hong Kong, Jason is ambushed by...oh what the christ is this:

I'm pretty sure I should be offended.

Is that a guy in drag? A horribly misshapen fat woman? I'm honestly not sure, and not sure which is more offensive. Also, that was not funny, Jason. That was just revolting. He dispatches Suzie and her goons rather easily and gets the stuff he needed. Again, this was really important to the story. No, wait, not at all.

Next scene they're flying over the Himalayas, because clearly Hong Kong is the closest international airport to Tibet. This isn't the 30s you know, Mt. Everest is like Rich Idiot Disneyland. Tibet has an international airport. They leap out of the helicopter (except Starfire, who was already flying behind them) and go into the illusion that hides the temple of the All-Caste. Jason takes a moment to muse about when he was beaten to death by the Joker. This is the second time he has mentioned that the Joker beat him to death with a crowbar in the same comic. In almost the exact same way. It's like he's fueling my fantasies at the moment.

Yoda's ghost tells Jason not to be full of vengeance just before all the corpses attack them. Jason demands respect for the bodies of the zombies they're butchering in what is a truly horrible, jumbled mess of a fight scene. Then he sits down to meditate and...no. Jason, you do not get to be the spiritual and enlightened one. You would not know enlightenment if a helium balloon carrying a neon sign knocked you into a vat of bleach. They meet up with this weird ten year old who is actually supposed to be 4000 years old, yet talks like a dudebro. Dear lord, I just realized what's wrong with the dialogue. Almost everyone speaks fluent dudebro. There is no individual voice. Did the Party Rock Virus infect everyone?

Since the Untitled went ahead of them and already left, they head into a nexus that looks like Escher drawing an album cover, but have to leave behind their most cherished memories. They can get them when they return, in the meantime the kid takes a peek. I'll just do a brief rundown:

Kori: The kid comments that her memories are strange, but this isn't followed up on. The time when she was a slave and one of the people who enslaved her had a moment of compassion. He gave her food and said he wished he could set her free, and apologized on behalf of his people. She killed him for condescending to her. Well then.

Roy: At rock bottom, disowned by the Justice League and his former partner, riding the china cat, he gets in a fight with Killer Croc. Killer Croc, instead of eating him, realizes how screwed up he is and has a genuine heart to heart, saying he's not going to be part of this and to get help. Killer "I live in sewers" Croc. Well then.

Jason: A time he was sick with a cold and Bruce took care of him. This would be a genuinely touching moment if they weren't lounging around in Wayne Manor wearing their costumes with the masks off.

Paparazzi? Is that a kind of pasta?

While in the nexus looking for clues to the Untitled's plans and current location, they fight a giant monster. You think that would deserve more mention, but it really doesn't. I have no idea why it was there. A guardian? Something left by the Untitled? It's never explained. You said things to be explained, comic. Explain!

And the clue they were looking for? A snow globe of Colorado. The Untitled left them a snow globe. I..I don't even know where to begin with what is wrong with this. It could be a trap. It could be a red herring. It had to be deliberate because there's no way it would leave this behind on accident. It was on a pedestal like an idol from Indiana Jones for crap's sake. So now they're off to Colorado without investigating this any further. Jason Todd, master detective, trained by the best.

The story ends with them retrieving their memories, except Jason. Who apparently thinks deciding to leave behind his most precious memory is badass, instead of petulant.

Do I even need to tell you how much this comic sucks? The characterization is all over the place, in every shade of "unlikable" you can imagine. I have literally no one to root for here. The giant monster attack in the middle of issue 3 is like a giant space flea from nowhere. Issue 2 is just offensive in every way. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be offended BY with Suzie Su, but I'm pretty sure I should be.

The story isn't even interesting. It's a pure random events story. It's like it's being written stream of consciousness by a hormonal 13 year old. "And then this happens...and then this...and she's got blood on her boobs!" I hate this so much. Reading this story is torture. Even the art is horrible. Just look at the samples I gave. Everything is ugly. Everything about this comic is ugly. There is nothing redeemable or likable or even interesting within its covers. For the first time I award a comic no points, and may God have mercy on its soul.

0/5 stars.